R is for ‘Rome wasn't built in a day’

The Victorian historian Thomas Carlyle, who nicknamed Economics as ‘The Dismal Science’ was noted to have declared:

"A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men"

Well said. So phenomenal. And categorically befitting in our life situations!

Sometimes, we often sail or see people sailing on the boat of narcissism and conceit of being great but do we ever consider what constitutes the equation of greatness? 

Well, to me, I discovered that without the wick of generosity and kindness, it is impossible to light the flame of greatness. Such greatness when it is no more pleasurable and authentic becomes nude and stupid. And that nude greatness without any trace of compassion and altruism can be equated to a castrated novelty. Castrated, because it is impotent and unable to breed goodness either to oneself or to others.

The spirit of generosity and civility is necessary for one to be great and visible because the duo is feathered in the wing of greatness. The weight of one’s greatness is measured not by how much we know or have, but by what degree and range we stretch the wings of sympathy in assisting others to fly at the same acceleration.

Technically, it sounds to be taxing but with time, nothing is impossible though it would be challenging.

That’s the fact where John Heywood, an English playwright has carved the truth in words when he said: ‘Rome wasn't built in a day.

In the simplest language, he means to say that everything takes time to bloom.   

Lincoln for instance, became the 16^th President of America only after he survived a series of misfortunes. Thomas Edison became a famous innovator and inventor after failing for infinite times. Despite his repeated failures and complaints from his assistant about wasting time and energy, he is fondly remembered for his hilarious yet witty remark: “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”.

There is magic in the tongue of these lines from a genius. The meat in these lines have beefed up my self-esteem and nurtured me with a healing relief for almost a year now after I was paralyzed by a venomous criticism of an anonymous person.

A man had lethally commented on the grammatical errors that I have made on my first post posted in Blogyul-Blogging Bhutan sometime in 2013. That infant piece of my writing was nailed with a nauseating dictum: “Don’t act over smart!” and had no further explanations.

Be able to give reasons when you are capable of pointing faults         (Courtesy: click LINK) 

I was numb with this line because the man who made a criticism of my article seriously lacked greatness in himself. To an educator like me, mistakes are beautiful because they treat us with a lesson to find alternatives when something doesn’t work in that way. Besides, we are humans bound to make mistakes but repeating the same mistake isn’t always palatable. I would have chewed his remark had he made me pregnant with the reasons for his stand. I would have even appreciated his greatness in removing errors from me if a diagnosis of my failure was disclosed.

But nothing prevailed. It just contaminated the sanctity of my virginity in posting articles in this forum anymore. I welcome cruel criticisms stuffed with a kind intention though.

“So long as the criticism is painful to the giver they have the right to criticise,” says Shiv Khera but “the moment the criticism is a pleasure to the giver they have no right to criticize”

Carnegie (1985) further writes that

“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment” (P.5).

Here are some examples in his book that is worth sharing. In order to escape from diluting his words, I am selling the original idea in the way it is manufactured in his book:

Bitter criticism caused the sensitive Thomas Hardy, one of the finest novelists ever to enrich English literature, to give up forever the writing of fiction. Criticism drove Thomas Chatterton, the English poet, to suicide (Carnegie, 1985).

I am neither Hardy nor Chatterton in this case. But next time, when you criticize, equip your stand with the gun of reasons. Otherwise, I would still chew the lines of Carnegie when he said:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.

If you have the heart to help others, be reasonable in your stand. That reason for your stand is how the greatness in your knowledge, profile or wealth will be measured.

Feel positive and when you see faults in others ask yourself: “Was the greatness in me born or made”. Nothing is born.

Let greatness take root in others. It is only time that can define its own quality. I, therefore, regurgitate: Rome wasn’t built in a day.

But remember, even if the greatness is not of your quality, that greatness in others can have its own dimension and circumference. All it matters is the size, not the name.      

“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new”- Albert Einstein