Silent Treatment

One of the most acerbic truths about getting into a very transparent relationship is when we realize that we are pushed towards the end of a friendship spectrum. At such disposal, it leads to the shrinkage of usual communication to the bare minimum creating a huge vacuum of silence. When this silence is further silenced by silence, it becomes a beginning of an end for a small and beautiful journey of friendship, and compromises thereafter, are rarely promising. 

Such an awkward episode in the smooth sail of friendship rather stonewalls the intimacy and the one who is at the receiving end of the cold-shouldering business suffocates with incurable emotional abuse and rejections. 

 

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This demand-withdrawal pattern witnessed in the cloth of any relationship, by some marital therapists and clinicians, refer to as Silent Treatment. It is one of the cheapest forms of passive-aggressive manifestation of contempt, disapproval or discontentment because by prolonging silence, it conveys undying grievances, resentments and ignorance. 

When one willfully breaks the bridge of normal conversations with a malicious intent of isolating and insulating from the circle of cordial rapport, due to an involuntary resignation, the victim on the other side becomes defiant and vengeful. As long as it is painful for the giver to withdraw, it is even more terribly hurting for the other to accept rejections and stepmother treatment of insignificance, without really understanding the reasons for the stony mysterious silence. In this situation, both the giver and the recipient are tortured and emotionally punished - one for attempting to withdraw and the other for being unable to withdraw. For this vicious cycle characteristic, few psychologists have even called it ‘manipulative punishment’.

Silent treatment tests boundaries. It forces one to demarcate its own territory. This is risky especially for the relations written on the white paper of trusts and faith. While there are both healthy and unhealthy ways to settle the dust of misunderstandings, it is important that both ends come to a midpoint to make things more transparent. In fact, both have to accept speaking about the silence directly instead of avoiding silence with silence.     

      

“The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained”- Anonymous.

Plagiarism

Plagiarism is an act of stealing someone’s ideas or piece of work without any acknowledgement and crafting it as one’s own. It can happen either through deliberate cheating or by accidental copying. But this theft of ideas is classified as unethical and equated to be a grave academic fraud. 

In many countries, people who violate and commit such immoral and dishonourable acts are even subjected to potential legal implications. Such immoral drill of taking someone’s ideas furtively is intolerable in many parts of the world and that even a little spark of coincidence can at times ignite a huge inferno of plagiarism row and allegations, and subsequently hit the headlines.

However, plagiarism is still one omnipresent academic epidemic that is generally witnessed and easily received in most of our educational institutions and publications. Just because there is copy and paste buttons, we take advantage of the technology to dishonestly sneak someone’s work and present it as ours. School magazines and newspapers have reportedly been the brothels of plagiarism for many of our students. And project work is no exception.

 

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The allure of plagiarism does not fade in the genes of our students. But as an educator, such practice of unlawful duplication of someone’s knowledge has a big reason to worry. Technologies that have transported the information to the doorstep of our fingertip has largely made this generation, complacent and lazy to invent their own ideas. 

Chronic procrastinators don’t agonize because they are highly acclimatized with the climate of accepting plagiarized work to be safe and permissible. As a result, they submit themselves to be ardent players of systematic plagiarizers.

In the schools, in the event of doing class works, either intra-corpal (copying the work from their mates) or extra-corpal plagiarism (copying the work from external sources such as websites or books) is highly rampant. And during the publication of magazines, few switch to self or auto-plagiarism (resubmitting the work that was previously submitted).

While many of our students are aware that plagiarism is detrimental and inappropriate for them to practice, due to the silent approval of our culture, its business is still mushrooming. It is certain that in the schools, the teachers are responsible to watch this practice die young because such practice focus more on “product than the process”, but our parents at home are also equally liable for such lapses. 

After all, educating our youth is the shared responsibility of both the parents and the teachers and not simply the teachers alone.

“Plagiarism is the fear of a blank page”- Mokokoma

An Alter Ego while driving?

I am certainly uncertain whether it is apposite to tag this article, either loosely or raggedly, with the term Alter Ego.

But with the support of my immature limbs of linguistic competence, I am connoting an alter ego to a set of different behaviours demonstrated in some situations by any people. And particularly this time, in the spotlight of driving.

Having been driving to the workplace from my home on a daily dose of 14.9 miles, by now, I felt like I have neared the equatorial belt of South Africa. And at the end of this academic tenure, I will be drenched with a feeling that I conquered the journey to the world in 180 days.

Well, I am not vomiting any resentment of my life here. 

Ever since I learned how difficult it is to acquire human life, I have put an end to this life of impermanence to weigh against each other. So basically I don’t equate my life with others because at best, I am reminded of a story, where a shoe-less man stops complaining about his life after seeing another without a leg. Our living has to be sustained in our own ways, as destined or fated, big or small. Hence, in my mind, this mundane observation does not stir any startling wave of inconvenience.  

But what is so bothersome is a kind of drama I witness frequently on the theatre of the highway performed by our professional motorists. Even those licensed drivers (sorry taxi drivers), who are mandated to protect themselves, passengers or pedestrians by following a set of transport guidelines overlook the traffic rules once they journey into a network, unreachable from the web of traffic cops. Due to this roadside fuss, driving in the early morning, breaking the silent virgin of the dawn is the only thing I wish for, as I don’t suffer from any hiccups of driving wrath owing to the limited interface of other vehicles. But by evening, on my return, I would witness the identical incidences of driving transgressions on different screens of the motorway. 

A case in point as soon as the temporary roadblock caused due to widening works is lifted, vehicles from both directions would speedily marathon to access the highway. In such circumstances, that mandated traffic rules of vehicles moving down the hills which should otherwise hang on, in favour of vehicles climbing the higher gradient, becomes a forgotten traffic decree. 

Consequently, all the vehicles remain congested and jammed, almost immovable even by an inch. The only space to free from such mobbing is to fly off the cliff, which nobody would be willing. That is the time where drivers from the opposite directions would pursue to indoctrinate one another to give the way, by describing a promising heavenly space even when there is just a hell inviting gap. No drivers would accept their miscarriage of traffic guidelines, but instead, argue their purpose of driving as complete urgency and exigent.

Sometimes, my wild imaginations can’t fathom the risk involved in getting thronged on our highways. Just imagine the situation getting stuck during monsoon season (but only the eyes washed with tears can see better) on a narrow highway pitched on the mountains, especially at this time when our roads are prostituting with copious road widening works. 

With sharp cuttings that are landslide-inviting above, and itching baldness of cliff below, my goodness! we can almost define impermanence within that short moment even without the help of any spiritual guru. Such surreal feelings aggravate our already unenlightened minds to blame one another for ensuring a situation of a particular sort, almost trespassing on personal matters, and thereby lose our focus in solving the road problem.

But if we do not invite our ego to take the driver’s seat, immense of those minute problems can be halved or solved by manifold. This trend of wild driving is biologically defined, undergoes silent mutation in our society today. Although it takes place in a very subtly negligible and almost unnoticeable manner, they are yet equally deleterious and worrying.

“Take it easy driving- the life you save may be mine” – James Dean

Green School in Green Bhutan

An English teacher once gave her Class 7 students to write an essay in their half-yearly examination:

“What do you understand by Green Schools in Green Bhutan?”

The concept was gaining popularity at the time, thanks to Bhutan’s Education Minister actively promoting it. 

As I read through one of the essays, a particular student’s words caught my attention: 

“Green Schools in Green Bhutan means schools having lots of green trees and plants. All schools look the same with green vegetation” 

I could not help but smile 😊. The student was not entirely wrong – green schools should indeed have trees, plants, and a clean environment. But was that truly all there was to it? Something seemed to be missing.

To be fair, I could not entirely fault the student. Many educators themselves were still unsure about the true essence of the concept. How could we expect our students to understand something when we, as teachers, had not fully grasped it ourselves? That moment marked the beginning of my decision to explore and explain the real meaning of Green Schools in Green Bhutan—something everyone, even young students, could understand.

 

What is a Green School?

A Green School is not just about trees and plants. It is a school that nurtures both nature and people. It teaches students to grow not only in knowledge but also in kindness, respect, and happiness. Bhutan introduced the Green Schools in Green Bhutan concept to make education more than just studying books. Schools should help students become good human beings while also caring for the environment.

This idea was led by Thakur Singh Powdyel, Bhutan’s former Education Minister, and was inspired by His Majesty the 4th Druk Gyalpo Jigme Singye Wangchuck. It became a key part of educating for Gross National Happiness (GNH).

But what exactly makes a school green? There are 8 important aspects or areas:

1. Natural Greenery 

2. Intellectual Greenery

3. Academic Greenery

4. Social Greenery

5. Cultural Greenery

6. Spiritual Greenery

7. Aesthetic Greenery

8. Moral Greenery.

1. Natural Greenery – A Clean School

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Natural greenery is one of the most important parts of a Green School because it shows how the school looks and feels. A school with natural greenery is clean, fresh, and well-organised, with beautiful trees, plants, and flowers. There is no litter, plastic waste, or anything harmful to the environment. It is a peaceful and healthy place where students and teachers respect nature. A school like this does not allow things like graffiti, junk food, or substance abuse. Having natural greenery helps students learn values like cleanliness, love for nature, peace, and responsibility for the environment.

Imagine walking into two schools:

· School A has trees, gardens, fresh air, and students taking care of the surroundings.

·  School B has trash on the ground, no plants, and dusty air.

Which one would you feel happy in? Of course, School A! 😁 

Natural greenery makes a school feel peaceful and healthy. 

We can promote this area by: 

·    Planting trees and flowers around the school.

·  Keeping the campus clean – no plastic, no litter. 

· Setting up a waste segregation system for recycling.

 

2. Intellectual Greenery – Growing Our Minds

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Intellectual greenery is about growing our minds and understanding the real purpose of coming to school – to learn and think wisely. Just like a field needs to be prepared before planting crops, our minds need to be open and ready to absorb knowledge. If we do not fill our minds with good learning, they might be used in the wrong way.

A strong and healthy mind should welcome good ideas, moral values, and creative thinking at all times. If we do not challenge ourselves to learn and think deeply, we miss out on the real benefits of education. Intellectual greenery helps students develop focus, confidence, curiosity, determination, and the ability to think and make good decisions. 

Here is an example. A teacher asks, “Why do we have seasons?”

·  Student A just memorise the answer from the book.

·  Student B – thinks critically, asks questions, and tries to understand deeply.

The second student is growing intellectually green! We can promote intellectual greenery by: 

·   Encouraging students to ask questions. 

· Organising debates, discussions, and creative learning activities. 

· Teach the value of curiosity and critical thinking.

3. Academic Greenery – The Love for Learning

Academic greenery helps us appreciate the knowledge and ideas shared by great scientists, philosophers, educators, poets, and authors. Without this, we may not truly understand why subjects like science, economics, and literature are important. These subjects are filled with valuable ideas – science helps us understand the world, literature adds meaning to life, and economics teaches us how societies function.

By valuing the hard work and discoveries of thinkers from the past and present, we keep the spirit of learning alive. Academic greenery ensures that knowledge is passed down and continues to grow for future generations. Students who embrace academic greenery develop qualities like appreciation, curiosity, respect, gratitude, and joy in learning.

In a school where academic greenery is strong:

·  Students do not just study for exams; they enjoy learning.

·   Teachers make lessons interesting and fun.

·    Everyone values books and knowledge.

We can promote this dimension by:

·    Have a library full of interesting books.

· Encourage project-based learning, not just memorisation.

· Invite guest speakers to share real-life knowledge.

4. Social Greenery – Living in Harmony

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A school is a place where teachers and students, with different skills and knowledge, come together. It is more than just a building with classrooms and sports fields; it is a community. In this community, people share different values and beliefs, and they learn from each other every day. They understand that working together peacefully and depending on each other is important.

When one person succeeds, everyone feels proud, and when someone faces failure or illness, the whole team feels it too. Through social greenery, everyone works together to face challenges, no matter how big they are. This part of greenery helps build values like unity, teamwork, cooperation, peace, and harmony.

This means, 

·   If a student falls down, others rush to help. 

·  If a classmate is struggling in studies, friends tutor him or her.

· Everyone respects teachers, staff, and fellow students. 

 

We can support this greenery by:

·   Organise group activities to teach teamwork.

·   Celebrate differences – respect all cultures and backgrounds.

·   Teach kindness and empathy through real-life examples.

5. Cultural Greenery – Respecting Our Traditions

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Culture is a way of showing who we are and how we do things. It is expressed through how we dress, speak, believe, pray, or follow traditions. 

Since culture is full of beauty and creativity, schools should provide a space where students can explore and express this creativity, grace, and uniqueness. Today’s learners will be the ones to protect and carry our culture in the future. A student with a strong cultural understanding will be respectful, feel connected to their community, and follow social norms. This cultural foundation will help our youth practice and pass on traditions in a way that keeps them alive for future generations. The values shaped by culture include identity, personality, character, uniqueness, individuality, peace, and harmony.

In a culturally green school, 

·  Students wear national dress (Gho & Kira) with pride. 

· Schools celebrate traditional festivals like Losar and Tshechu. 

·  Students learn Bhutanese values like respect for elders.

We can further enhance this component by: 

·   Teaching traditional songs, dances, and arts. 

·    Encouraging students to speak Dzongkha. 

· Conducting storytelling sessions on Bhutanese legends.

 

6. Spiritual Greenery – Believing in Something Bigger

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One thing that unites all Bhutanese, especially as Buddhists, is the shared sense of spirituality. We do not see ourselves as complete beings on our own. Instead, we are grounded in the belief that there are countless other beings – superior, powerful, capable, and more intellectually gifted than us – whose support is essential for us to achieve our dreams. This way of thinking reminds us to nurture and strengthen our spiritual connection. Spiritual growth helps cultivate values such as belief, relationship, strength, dependence, trust, hope, faith, devotion, loyalty, sincerity, conviction, confidence, and reliance.

For example:

· A student learns to be grateful for food and prays (tomchoe) before eating. 

·   Students follow the practice of respecting the natural elements such as mountains (by not climbing), trees, lakes, and rocks as having life. 

·   A school organise mindfulness meditation to promote inner peace.

We can encourage this by: 

·Teaching kindness and compassion (elements of Buddhism) through simple acts. 

· Encourage reflection and gratitude exercises.

· Organise meditation or quiet time.

 

7. Aesthetic Greenery – Seeing True Beauty

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An aesthetically aware student can easily tell the difference between appearance and reality. Technology has made the world seem to turn ugly into beautiful, fake into real, and uncertain into certain. However, with a sense of aesthetic awareness, we can truly recognise what is genuinely good and beautiful, while rejecting what is unnecessary and unworthy. This understanding helps us focus on doing the right thing and stop engaging in immoral actions. Such awareness brings values like truth, honesty, integrity, appreciation, insight, admiration, pleasure, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfilment.

With aesthetic greenery: 

· A student appreciates a beautiful sunrise rather than just taking a selfie.

·  Art and music are part of daily school life.

Aesthetic greenery can be promoted by: 

·  Encourage art, music, and creativity.

·  Teach students to appreciate beauty in nature and life.

8. Moral Greenery – Knowing Right from Wrong

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Moral awareness is like a compass that helps us know what is right and wrong, good and bad, or true and false before we make choices. It helps guide our minds to grow in kindness and do good things, which makes us better members of our community. Kids with strong moral values are good at making decisions, thinking clearly, and understanding what’s right.

Examples: 

· A student returns a lost wallet instead of keeping it.

· A school discourages bullying and teaches fairness.

Moral greenery can be improved in the school by: 

· Teaching students about ethics and responsibility. 

·     Rewarding honesty and good behavior.

·     Organising discussions on moral dilemmas.

 

The key message of this concept is that education is not just about books – it is about growing as a person. Through this idea, the dream is to make our schools in particular and the world in general, a better place to live.