Of late, I had been experiencing a series of hiccups in my mood due to which I am not able to walk on the footpath of my academic blueprint. This subliminal sentiment has by far, colonized the immune system of my mind and has disturbed the geography of my mood and feelings as a result of which I suffer from an anomalous tremor of rise and fall. The whole ecosystem of my temperament has been distorted and amorphous for quite a longtime now. And sadly, the days of the past and current seems to share zero symmetry. This sameness has now grossly become as different as chalk and cheese.
|Opsss.... the masks of bipolar festival Picture courtesy: Click LINK|
But sometimes, the drift of this fluctuation, though severe, is not very strange to me because I am emotionally delicate and that even a mild cataclysm is enough to trigger disharmony in the frame of my mind. I often sustain with a homesick mania for being away even for a few days from my home and families. Thus, in this fashion I often turn blind and consume it to be a drop in the bucket. However, due to its relapsing ability, this has become no more bagatelle to me. Now I am even alarmed if I am not sustaining any of this mental illness.
Scientifically, people who experience such upheavals and mood swings are classified to have endured a kind of biological disorder called the Bipolar Disorder or Manic-depressive illness. During such mental illness, a person is likely to experience a highly elevated or terribly depressive mood. There will be a series of mood drama right from being exceedingly happy and energetic to being sad and crippled and developing inferior complexity. The causes are attributed to hereditary and environmental factors but is clearly not established.
But in the case of mine, happiness is never included in the menu of my mood. Day after other, it is that gloominess that clouds my mind and suffocates from reaching my goal. So, this makes me skeptical if I am suffering from any kind of uncertain bipolar disorder that has probably having more of negative temperament.
“If I can't feel, if I can't move, if I can't think, and I can't care, then what conceivable point is there in living?” Kay Redfield Jamison