Let’s TALK about SEX

            The recent news of introducing Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) as a part of the school curriculum by the Ministry of Education is much needed, if not long overdue. 

        During my brief stint as a science teacher – who involved teaching adolescents living at the age of numerous life-changing or sometimes life-threatening circumstances, I identified the significance of making materials associated with CSE to be made more accessible in our learning institutions such as in schools. 

        Empirical findings based on CSE were also orally presented in two national seminars held at teacher education institutes – one at Samtse College of Education and the other at Paro College of Education, in 2016 and 2019 respectively.

        Elsewhere  and 4 years back in my blog post, I have contended: 

“Sex is everywhere. It has noticeably invaded the public square than ever before. Music is sexually toned while the music videos are highly galvanized with sexually explicit content. Songs postulated to produce quixotic flavour are genetically mutated with degrading lyrics that would either objectify feminism or reify the supremacy of masculinity. Advertisements and endorsements are increasingly becoming the brothels of obscenity by the growing use of immodest sexual imagery believed to elicit sexual responses and in so doing invite consumers. And almost intolerably, sex has developed itself into a language of social media that is understood by the culture of any origin. 

 

While sex has openly colonized practically almost every sphere of human space, it has undoubtedly remained injured after the collision of numerous existing cultural and religious taboos in discussing it within a family circle. Restrictions of these measures are highly detrimental that the adolescents are often risked to gather misconstrued knowledge and irrelevant myths from various sources that may be passed down to the generations” 

My presentation slides during the "Adolescent Sexuality and Wellbeing in the 21st Century", October 22-25, 2019. Paro College of Education 

        Adolescence is a period of human development that is often confronted with increased freedom to make choices. Their ability to confront these choices and make healthy decisions are key to development.

        It is our responsibility to offer the right information and skills for adolescents to navigate and make informed choices for their reproductive health and general well-being – both physiologically and psychologically.  

        Despite the evidence that it is necessary and valuable, materials on CSE are not easily accessible. In a cultural setting like ours, CSE is frequently confined to the conversation inside our home premises. Because it is so delicate and sensitive, many parents avoid it and find it intimidating. 

        According to the literature, some parents are concerned about encouraging early sexual experimentation by arousing sexual interest in their children, if they commence open talks about sexuality with them. In our scenario, many of our parents shy away from communicating about sexuality with their children. In some cases, some parents feel ill-equipped, hesitant, or afraid of talking about CSE. 

            Because we grew up in a cultural setting that did not encourage us to talk about anything related to sexuality or reproductive health, we generally feel unknowledgeable and uncomfortable talking with our children, thus resulting in the same trend of rearing the children in the same way we were brought up. I found this trend of prohibits not only predominantly visible but highly worrying. 

            The existence of such cultural and religious barriers in discussing sexuality with adolescents may lead to the growth of numerous negative health consequences that would be life-threatening to our kids – which may be otherwise avoidable. A gap such as this can be minimised by initiating consistent open communication about sexuality with children. 

            Being aware of this practice, I used to discuss sexuality with my pupils in class, in addition to academic obligations. As a science teacher, it was a huge benefit to me because I didn't have to feel embarrassed about discussing reproductive health or concerns linked to CSE. As a result, I encouraged them to speak up openly, which inspired me to investigate adolescent-parent communication regarding sexuality in the Bhutanese setting. And that's how I learned that our parents say, NO to talk about SEX with our children.

            Given that I wanted to put CSE sexuality education into the spotlight of conversation from the perspective of the school environment, I endeavoured to find a platform where key stakeholders could hear it. But only a handful take interest to listen, even though our society is rapidly amassing a wide variety of sexual risks, including, but not limited to, sexual harassment, sexual abuse, sexually transmitted illnesses, sexual orientation (LGBTI), rape, and suicide, to mention a few.

            Let alone individuals who are out of my work circle appreciate my tiny efforts, several of my immediate bosses supplied me with hitches in freeing me to attend conferences — on the pretence that I would miss class. Approval to attend any academic conferences was first, difficult to get, and if approved, took a very long time for mysterious reasons. Regrettably, the same boss who restricted my move to attend such academic meetings has submitted my research papers for his promotion —  without my consent and was successful after a 9-year wait — despite the fact that he had no research publications.

            This narrative is not designed to be a protest. No! by any means. It is my grievance and regrets that I have been so dedicated and loyal to our culture of respect and tha-damtsig (committed leader-subordinate relationship). Thinking back, at times, I feel that our leaders exploit loyal and industrious individuals and utilise them as promotion mules widely, instead of nurturing them. Our leaders at times, want us to perform better in life, but never better than them. No! by any means.  

        But nothing is permanent, and it is worthwhile to move on. And now here I am – away from them and near to my dreams.